Limbo

If you've ever been in my position and in between places, life is so empty. There's that bit of limbo... I often think that perhaps the limbo that catholics talk about (where children go instead of heaven or hell) actually exists in real life - that time between being a child and becoming a person in the "real world". It seems like a crazy kind of transition where you know what you're expected to be later on but right now you can't actually achieve that.

My entire life up till now is in boxes, surrounding me. I've been a child, I've got an extended education and now I'm waiting to join the "real world". It's so frustrating though since I've got the job that takes me into it but I have to wait around to start it. So what do I do between now and then?

The fact that everything is in a box causes issues... I'm trapped with my thoughts. The sad thing is, those thoughts are all focused on what happens after I start the second stage.... This in itself causes many issues as I no longer feel like I'm in charge of what's to happen. I know my preferred scenario which basically equates to a happy family of my own. You know what though? That's kind of tricky on my own. So, I find myself planning crazy trips like Africa.... six weeks in an orphanage teaching kids the basics and educating adults about health and things.

It struck me the other day that I'm actually quite empty. Someone very close to me actually said that they had no idea what I was into, what made me, me. It's crazy. I exist, and do all these things that are my life but I have no real individual passion. I dip into so many different things. Yes, I have a passion for all things religion and anthropological but even that fails to excite me on occasion. I like all sorts of games and people and music.... but even in all the little things I feel like I'm lacking some kind of central "point" that I can achieve solely on my own. I thought I had one once, but alas no. Especially now, in this limbo I'm at a dead end.

Currently I'm finding the title to my blog page more apt than ever... to me, everything is a mystery.

What's the point Miss?

I get asked so many times; "What is the point?" My answer in class always follows the lines of because you need to, because it will help you in the future, because it looks good. It's all following the idea that one day it will make a difference to the way you live your life.

My answer in my heart is I don't actually know - i'm surprised they haven't noticed that empty glaze behind my eyes as I answer. I don't know if I'll ever know. What's the point of good qualifications and an education? Yes, it gets you into further education, or gets you a job (or perhaps not in the current economic climate) but other than that it's pointless. Work and education is not the key to happiness, but love is. Love, happiness, hope... all those emotions that are related to the bad ones of sorrow, sadness, disbelief... Still... without love nothing is worth living for.

Run children, follow your hearts... but if you must, feed your minds.

Racism and Prejudice... it's up to you.

Teaching young people is my life. You are often rewarded with nuggets of inspirational thought... but there is the alternative side. On occaision you are shocked by the eternal lack of empathy found in some (and I emphasise some here) young people today.

Recently i've been shocked by a topic taught about Religion and Prejudice aimed at 15 year olds. Some, agreeably were shocked by images I displayed using the word Ni**** whilst others wern't bothered. Some bowed their heads whilst seeing a baby jew amongst the others in a mass grave. Yet, there wer e others who failed to be humbled, failed to be moved by the cruelty humanity inflicts on fellow mankind.

They were asked what can change this from happening and a response I received was; "Nothing Miss". Honestly. A separate class I asked decided that over the last 50 years something has been done to reduce the amount of prejudice present in the world, yet the amount of prejudice they themselves have is quite outstanding. I do it, they do it... and I can bet anything you do it. Can prejudice ever be exterminated? I actually do not think so, everyone is different and everyone is affected by human nature. We are bound to judge others against our ideals - it follows on from the question what is "normal"? There is no normal, it's dependant on your own views.

Prejudice should, then, be curbed. Surely? But where do we draw the line. The holocaust is the extreem version of prejudice - judgeing someone to the extent that you wish them dead. I visited Auschwitz at the young age of 16. It was an increadibly humbling experience I must say, one which I feel everyone could learn from... for me the entrance gives more meaning than anything:

Arbeit Macht Frei - Work Makes you Free

Really? Then lets get to work... lets make everyone free - free to live, free to be happy and free to have opinion. I feel in response to this I should re-read Orwells 1984 (for the umpteenth time)... expect a blog on it soon.